i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
