Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
