I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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