First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
