I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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