Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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