Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
