It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
