You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
