I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
