Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
