you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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