im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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