at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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