i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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