she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
