So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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