I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
