I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
