And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
