Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
