He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
