Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
