wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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