You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
