I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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