my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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