One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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