I faked an abortion last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
