I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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