this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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