): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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