Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
