ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
