We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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