i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
