I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
