Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
