im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize