i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
