You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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