Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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