I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
