After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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