I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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