The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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