Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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