i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
