Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
