Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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