I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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