i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
