This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
