that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
