actually, I'm a sock model
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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