Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
