If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
