I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They are going to name an STD after you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
