do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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