I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
