Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
